“MAJOR SHARPE’ S APPOINTMENTS FOR THE DAY”
-Reveille at four in the morning, a battle ere the day’s done
A casualty list for reportin’—Army life’s not so much fun.
At seven, a meetin’ with Wellington, to work out an offensive plan
Or a siege that could win my promotion—not bad for a bastard, homeless man
After that it’s paradin’ o’ privates, then polish me gun an’ me sword
I’m not be of wealth or education, but a better soldier than any young Lord
An ambush comes next in the noon hour, with troops that I’ve just taught to fight
Couldn’t shoot for their lives or a farthing…but I think they’ve about got it right.
By Two, its all gunsmoke an’ screamin’: by three, we lead ‘em out, me an’ Pat
By four, a hundred dead soldiers, given by Nosey no more thought than a rat
At Five, I should celebrate with officers, but they’re Gents—they don’t want me around
Cos they only need me f’ battles, when my bravery c’n earn ‘em a pound
So I’ll spend all my time with the Rifles, with South Essex whose name that we made
And I’ll spend my nights dreamin’ of Eagles
Countin’ red-jacket sheep on parade.
Written by Farren M Robinson, (as a teenager)